life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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