it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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