Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He passed out mid-signature
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
