so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need to align my fucking chakras
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