We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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