There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
