Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
