But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Randomize
