I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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