y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
