you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
