Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
