I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
