im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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