good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
