apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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