I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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