If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize