did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
