that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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