before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So squirting runs in the family.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
