It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
