Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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