Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like eating out sand paper
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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