So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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