I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
