i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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