I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
