Do you still have your period?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
