Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
