Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
