So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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