who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
