I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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