Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
