Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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