So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize