Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
