just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
