As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we're so committed to being not committed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
