biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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