Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
