i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
