if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
