if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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