I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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