I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
