Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
