You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
