her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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