You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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