Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
