oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
