Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
