Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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