i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
