why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
