I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
kristin has been a bad kristin
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
