Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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