Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
