Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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