I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
