i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
