It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize