Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can you bring me the toilet please
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
