so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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