38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dick very happy bro
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize