Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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