Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
