More tranny stories later!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
zippers are such a cool invention
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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