There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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